Almost The New Year

This week hasn't been the best week.  I think the side effects of the drugs are beginning to kick in fully and I'm not feeling great.  Since Sunday, I felt fine at first but now I feel very light-headed and have a constant ache in my right side where my ovary is.  I'm assuming my ovary was enlarged and overstimulated from the 2 follicles and is sore.  But I guess this is just all the effects of the drugs.  Plus I've been extremely moody and been in that why me kind of mood again.  I get in that every so many weeks so I like to compile a list of the top things a person with fertility issues DOES NOT want to hear or is in other words extremely annoyed by:

1.  "Just Relax and it will all work out":  You don't think I've tried that before and you think that if I just relax and have a couple drinks and go on vacation the magic fertility fairy is going to swoop down and make me magically fertile.  It doesn't work that way. 

2.  "It takes time, have patience":  I'm 31 years old, you don't think I have patience.  I've gone through how many holidays without my own children and how many pregnancy announcements and still am waiting for the day to come.  I have patience.  I don't want to be a 50 year old with a first grader.

3.  "I'm pregnant and I didn't even try":  That's great I'm happy for you.  I have to go through fertility drugs and injections and emotional ups and downs and not to mention the fun side effects that come along with it just to maybe have a baby someday but not know if it will ever work, but I'm glad that you are so fertile and are rubbing it in my face right now.

4.  "Why don't you adopt or just adopt and you'll get pregnant":  Okay #1 it's not that easy it's expensive and not guaranteed.  And easy for someone who has mothered or fathered their own children to suggest.  And also you don't just all the sudden become fertile when the adoption papers are signed.

5.  "You should do these things while you can...when you have kids...":  Who says we are guaranteed to have kids and who says that we have to have kids to complete our lives anyways.  Not everyone is blessed with fertility like you.  What if we are infertile forever, are our lives just over.  Should we just die?  So we should travel now because when we have kids...Well what if we can't have kids then what, are we just useless???  I really do want kids more than anything, but I'm annoyed by people acting like our lives will be incomplete without them.

6.  Pregnant girls who complain about their pregnancy:  I understand that when you are pregnant your hormones are going crazy and you are experiencing a lot of discomfort.  You have every right to vent about your discomfort to anyone else in your life but not someone in my position.  You know how much I would love to be in your position, I'm getting all those side effects probably worse but for who knows for what outcome.  At least you know you have a baby on the way and can enjoy looking forward to it, what do I have to look forward to, oh the possibility of a baby and another month of dreaded side effects and more drugs and more needles.  And at least you are giving up drinking for a new baby, I'm giving up drinking in hopes of a new baby that I might never have.  So shut your mouth and enjoy your pregnancy.

7.  The show Sixteen and Pregnant and Teen Mom:  This show just extremely annoys me, but for some reason I still watch it.  Why and the heck can these girls get pregnant and I can't.  These poor babies most of the time aren't given the proper care or lives they deserve and they publish this on world television.  We would give our baby such a great life in a great home and can't conceive.  Why?  I'm so tired of watching on TV and reading in the news unfit parents having children when we would try to be the best parents and give our kids everything we possibly could.  I just don't understand and it breaks my heart because it's so unfair.

Okay so I'm done being grumpy and feeling sorry for myself.  That is my vent for the day, I needed to get that off my chest.