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Friday, February 25, 2011

Decisions Decisions

The meeting wih Dr. C went well, I really liked his views and philosophies.  He was very knowledgable but now says I need an MRI to determine if my uterus is bicornuate or septate. And he wants me to wait on surgery and continue with more cycles of fertility drugs and IUIs, possibly injectables.  I'm just not crazy about this idea because it seems like we are getting great response from the meds but we have not yet detected what the problem is with the uterus or possibly more endo.  I really do not want to spend a lot of money on injectables before knowing if the endo is gone or if there is a uterus malformation.  The injectables could cost us close to $600 or more a month. 
I think right now I know more about fertility than I ever wanted to know and now making decisions is so much harder. I understand the reproductive system better than anyone who's had a baby, there's something wrong with that.   The good news is 7 day post ovulation progesterone level came back at 60.1.  This is great, very high, which means I ovulated probably all 3 follicles.   This also means I don't need to use those progesterone supplements I used last month.  The side effects of those were just horrible.  So the sperm counts are great and the eggs are there which leads me to believe again the uterine environment is just not viable. Ugh why oh why can't this be easy.

Friday, February 18, 2011

Is the third time a charm?

If not then surgery.  I haven't written in awhile due to a discouraging couple of months. We have had great results from the femara...producing 3 follicles or more, even 5 one month.  We also did iui too with great results but no success. The doctor at the IRH thinks the uterus is septate not bicornuate and that it is causing the issue and it needs to be repaired. This means there is a septum that splits the uterus that can prevent impantation.  It's pretty scary stuff and an intense surgery but the next option due to nothing else working.   Monday we are getting a second opinion from another re Dr C just to make sure.  So we are waiting to see the results from this cycle and still hoping for the best.
It's hard to stay optimistic because I feel like when I get my hopes up too high then it's just a harder let down every month.  And month after month it seems like more and more people are just getting pregnant so easily.  It's so frustrating.  It's not that I'm not happy for them, I just wonder when we are going to have our moment.  And why can't it be that easy for us, why do we have to go through all these treatments and physical and emotional pain?  Why can't we experience the joy like everyone else?  It's hard to keep this pain hidden, noone really understands what we are going through or how hard this is, but noone really could understand unless they experience it themselves.  That's why I don't feel like it's worthwhile to even try to talk to anyone about it.
Well, I'll continue to try to hold my head up high and keep being as strong as possible though this has really got me down right now inside.