Cautiously Happy

I called the doctor and they wanted me to find a lab in FL to have my first beta.  It was kind of a wild goose chase trying to find a hospital or lab on Saturday where the doctor could fax the order down.  We eventually found somewhere to run the test.  My first beta came back at 161 mIU/hcg!  That was 14 days post ovulation and the nurse said that number is really good.  So now it's official I'm pregnant and I'm excited!  I'm definitely a little cautious as I know I'm still in the early stages and I know I'm not completely out of the woods yet.  I still want to enjoy the excitement right now and just be happy.  In 2 weeks, I have my first scan and visit with Dr. A.  I can't wait for that.  We will continue to pray for the health of our baby as we are so thankful for this little miracle.  I also want to thank everyone for their well wishes and prayers.  I really appreciate keeping us in your thoughts and prayers right now.

Am I dreaming?

I tested early, which I know I know, I'm not supposed to do that.  I just couldn't resist.  I had a feeling, a feeling that this may be it, a feeling that I needed to test.  To my surprise, there it is was a second line.  I was so used to seeing stark white pregnancy tests that I was in disbelief.  It was faint but it was there.  I had to confirm with C to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me.  But they weren't, that faint little line was there!  Now I'm 11 dpo and my third positive test is shown below.  You may have to look real close, but that second line is there.  I promise you it is. 

I have a million thoughts, emotions and feelings running through my mind right now that I'm still trying to process.  I don't want to get too excited as I know that this could end up chemical and be a total letdown.  I still need to go to the doctor and have a blood test to confirm.  Unfortunately, I leave tomorrow for FL and I won't be able to get the test done until I get home.  I'm so happy and excited, but yet have so many worries about the pregnancy.  I can't wait until I can actually see that little heartbeat.  I think I need that confirmation in order to believe that this is really all real and not a fantasy.  But for now I'm pregnant...and I'm happy.

Something to Laugh At

Now if only I would have just listened to this at-home advice maybe I could just boost my fertility.  Thanks to the Bump for sending me this today.  Who needs doctors or medications, as the bump suggest I just need to eat healthy, stay calm, and not smoke then I can increase my fertility.  What a joke?  Must have been written by some super fertile woman who thinks she has solved the mystery to infertility.  I despise getting these nonsense articles in my inbox from people who have no concept of infertility treatments what-so-ever. 

Below is how the link to the article is worded and the link.  I'm just glad the Bump has told me that I don't need doctors or drugs.  I mean we just all love throwing our money away on something we don't need right? When all we really needed to do was stay calm.

6 all-natural fertility boosters

Now you can boost your fertility without any doctors or drugs -- and the best part? You don't even need to leave your house to do it. Read on for these six easy lifestyle changes that up your chances of seeing that BFP. (And hey, you'll have an excuse to get an uber-relaxing massage!) Boost your fertility now

Here We Go Again

This past week I had my follicle check or as I like to call it my egg hatching check to see how many eggs I'm going to lay this month.  I have to find some humor in the monthly follicle check appointments.  So I have 3 mature follicles ready to go.  They are surprisingly on my left side this month.  Normally my right side takes dominance but this month it's my left.  This is probably a good thing because my left side seems to have less scar tissue and less damaged.   The IUI went smoothly 2 days later and now we wait.  C's counts were better than usual.  His counts/motility, etc are normally pretty good, but this month even better than normal.  I think it's because he stopped taking some of the supplements the embryologist in our group told him were really bad for him.  The sad part is when we picked up the paper and specimen from the lab I can now read the whole semen analysis and I said wow that's great and Dr. A said the same.   Dr A said it was the best he'd seen the whole day! :)  Some good news.  So if it doesn't work it's all my fault, just kidding!  Again I'm learning way more about fertility than I ever wanted to know though.  I wish we were just one of those couples who could conceive the old fashioned way, I sometimes envy them.  Oh well, I always say God could have given us worse things in life.  This is what we have in our plan and others' plans our different, but I'm sure not everyone's has  the perfect plan either.  There are always obstacles in life.  But doesn't it feel like when you are TTC everyone else just has it so much easier because they don't have to deal with this same issue.  I'm sure that's not the case, but I feel that way sometimes.  It just seems so unfair.  Everything is in God's hands now and I must tell myself to let it go.  It's not in my control.  I'm trying to not be as obsessive this month either.  I'm not taking every little supplement/vitamin I ever heard would work and I'm not obssessing that I have to be at yoga or have to do this on this day.  It's not in my control and I can't change that.  This was actually the 3rd IUI (4th month on meds), so maybe the 3rd time is a charm.  I just need to find a way to deal with the disappointment this month if it's not our time yet.