Here We Go Again

This past week I had my follicle check or as I like to call it my egg hatching check to see how many eggs I'm going to lay this month.  I have to find some humor in the monthly follicle check appointments.  So I have 3 mature follicles ready to go.  They are surprisingly on my left side this month.  Normally my right side takes dominance but this month it's my left.  This is probably a good thing because my left side seems to have less scar tissue and less damaged.   The IUI went smoothly 2 days later and now we wait.  C's counts were better than usual.  His counts/motility, etc are normally pretty good, but this month even better than normal.  I think it's because he stopped taking some of the supplements the embryologist in our group told him were really bad for him.  The sad part is when we picked up the paper and specimen from the lab I can now read the whole semen analysis and I said wow that's great and Dr. A said the same.   Dr A said it was the best he'd seen the whole day! :)  Some good news.  So if it doesn't work it's all my fault, just kidding!  Again I'm learning way more about fertility than I ever wanted to know though.  I wish we were just one of those couples who could conceive the old fashioned way, I sometimes envy them.  Oh well, I always say God could have given us worse things in life.  This is what we have in our plan and others' plans our different, but I'm sure not everyone's has  the perfect plan either.  There are always obstacles in life.  But doesn't it feel like when you are TTC everyone else just has it so much easier because they don't have to deal with this same issue.  I'm sure that's not the case, but I feel that way sometimes.  It just seems so unfair.  Everything is in God's hands now and I must tell myself to let it go.  It's not in my control.  I'm trying to not be as obsessive this month either.  I'm not taking every little supplement/vitamin I ever heard would work and I'm not obssessing that I have to be at yoga or have to do this on this day.  It's not in my control and I can't change that.  This was actually the 3rd IUI (4th month on meds), so maybe the 3rd time is a charm.  I just need to find a way to deal with the disappointment this month if it's not our time yet.