A Loss and A Loss

So this past week was a rough one.  Last weekend we spontaneously took in a rescue dog on a temporary basis while at Petsmart.  We've been thinking of getting another dog and this dog was so calm and gentle, we thought she'd be perfect.  Well, when we got home.  She wanted to be the alpha dog of the house and was kind of not nice with our pug.  She also had some health issues including a cough and other problems and we think she was sick.  I was really worried about her infecting our other dog.  She was a really good dog.  She was about one and still a bit of a chewer but mostly house broken.  She was so sweet.  But with the surgery coming up and her not getting along great with our Lilly, we knew it was too much to take on at the time.  My heart was broken to tell the rescue that we just couldn't do it at this time.  She also loved children and was so great and protective of them.  She loved our niece and I just knew she would be better off in a home with children, probably better than a home than other dogs.  I know that she is going to find the perfect family.  I just know that our home wasn't the right home for her.  I just keep thinking how horrible am I to have done this and hope I can forgive myself for breaking this little dog's heart.

I also think I experienced a chemical pregnancy this past week.  So as I was losing a little dog that I was already falling in love with, I also had all of the symptoms of a very early miscarriage.  I had this before several months ago and we think this happens possibly because of the malformed uterus.  I had  all the classic symptoms of a chemical pregnancy.  It makes me sad, but I'm almost numb to it all.  I finally started after being several days late and I'm still having some horrible cramping on and off.  I'm hoping to get more answers in the surgery that is one week from today.  But as of today my heart continues to ache.