Break Over

Af decided to surprise me a day early.  Then on top of all of it I had severe cramping and I mean on the floor I thought I was going to die cramping.  I have never had to call in sick to work for cramping.  This was on cycle day 2/3 of my cycle.  I didn't know what was going on.  I was passing pieces of bloody tissue at this point.  So in my mind I thought I was having a miscarriage.  Any similar advice would be appreciated??  So after 12 hours of no let up and heavy bleeding, I left a message for the doctor.  The only good thing was I think pretty much all of my swelling went down at this point.  After finally getting in touch with the doctor's office, I immediately went in to see them.  He wanted to check the uterus for scar tissue and blood buildup because he thought that there might be complications from the surgery.  He said that wasn't the case though.  He said he thought it was just a really bad period and gave me some pain pills.  I don't know though.  I tend to think it was just my body still in the healing process.  I ended up bleeding very heavy and for 6 days, very rare for me.  Please if anyone has experienced anything similar, I would really appreciate input?  So I'm continuing on with the cycle because I don't want to waste time as the endo has just been removed.  I'm hoping this hasn't hindered any chances and caused any problems, though I don't have any real answers. 

I'm trying to think of the positives right now to stay hopeful for the next cycle.  It's not been easy.

1.  AF started early, so the break is officially over.  The medicated cycles are started again.  I'm done taking the femara for this cycle.
2.  I need to just let everything from the past go, all bad cycles all bad feelings, let it all go and think positive, nothing but positive thoughts, everything is going to work out one way or another.
3.  The endo is gone for now.  It's a clean slate in there.
4.  We are going on vacation in a few weeks.  So matter what the results are of the first IUI, I'll be on the beach!

On a Break

This third time was not a charm and yet devastating.  That was our third femara cycle and it didn't work.  Usually 3 or 4 cycles of one drug and IUIs are all a dr. likes to do before moving onto something else.  The theory is if that method of treatment is going to work, it's going to work after 3 or 4 cycles.  So now we go on a break and we have decided that surgery is our best option.  We are going to stay with our original re Dr. A for the surgery and then decide what's best after that.  We've started this journey with him and feel we need to give it a little more time.  Since ovulation doesn't seem to be our problem, continuous cycles of drugs just seem to be emotionally and physically draining.  We plan to start on injectable drugs after the surgery but we dont know if we'll stay with IRH for awhile or maybe switch to Dr. C.  We would like to try Dr. C's method of acupuncture, because we think it would be really helpful in relieving stress.  So next month I'll have a laparascopy and septum resection surgery.  The lap will remove any endo which might have grown back.  This should help improve our chances of conceiving, at least for awhile.  The septum surgery scares me a little.  This might take two surgeries to remove the septum which could mean we will be on a break 3 to 4 months.  This will remove the tissue that separates my uterus into two halves, this is most likely causing implantation issues.  There are so many risks involved in this.  Though my uterus may be somewhat "normal" after this.  I will still be high risk if I get pregnant as my uterus will still be more suscepticle to rupture and also can cause other issues after I have the baby as far as bleeding.  But I guess right now the benefits outweigh the risks and it needs to be done.
So after the surgery or surgeries I will have a month or 2 of recovery for my uterus lining to repair and then we can try again.  Then we will most likely move onto expensive injectable drugs.  Oh yea!  More pain and more money.  But hopefully better results.  So hopefully this will improve our chances too, as injectables normally have better conceiving results.  So for now we are on a break and I'm really bummed about that because I feel like this is such wasted time.  Though I do think we need some time off to recoup and enjoy our lives for awhile without having to think about fertility all the time.  It will be nice to just be us again.
This 3rd cycle failure has just been tough, I feel like a lot of hopes and dreams are just diminishing one month at a time.  I thought for sure that I would be pregnant by my birthday when I started these treatments and now with this new setback I know that is not going to happen.  And with Mothers Day looming, I'm just dreading that day of the only one again alone and not knowing if I'll ever overcome this fertility issue.  It's so depressing.  I feel so alone.  Right now we are looking for support groups.  Unfortunately, infertility is such a hush hush issue there aren't many in the area.  I found one but it doesn't start until April or May so we are looking at possibly having to drive to Columbus, but we think it will be worth it.  Well, that's it for now.  There is not much news to come as these next few months are going to be surgery and recovery.

Merry Christmas Eve

So today is Christmas Eve, I'm very excited to spend my first Christmas with Chuck as a married couple.  We will be spending time with both our families and can't wait to see all our nieces and nephews and how excited they will be for Christmas.  We love them all so much.  Christmas without children just isn't the same, kids bring such a different light to the holiday and always can keep the Christmas spirit alive.
I'm finished with the 5 day femara and the side effects were pretty minimal, a few hot flashes here and there and some cramping but nothing at all bad.  We also had a doctor's appointment today to view my follicles and see how I responded to the drugs.  Yes fertility appointments never stop, 365 days a year it doesn't matter what day it is the treatment continues.  Anyways, so we received good news at the doctor, I had 2 mature follicles on my right ovary of 20 mm.  That is a very good response to the drug and my endometrium lining was also thickening nicely.  So with hia counts coming back good, we are going to give it a shot on our own.  Chuck saw the 2 follicles and thought twins!  LOL.  It doesn't necessarily mean twins but this is why fertility meds give a higher rate of multiples because 2 eggs could release this cycle, though both may not fertilize and implant.  So I had to give myself an Ovidrel shot tonight to stimulate ovulation.  I was a little nervous but it was so easy and painless.  Chuck wanted to give it to me first but I wasn't letting him come near me with that needle ;)  So now I should ovulate in about 36 hours from the shot.  And we just pray for a Christmas miracle!

Let's Start the Rx

The visit with the RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) at the Institute for Reproductive Health went well.  He seemed optimistic.  Not sure if he has that attitude with everyone, but I'm going to take that as a positive for now.  Any positives in this process are needed.  So he doesn't want to do another lap right now.  (I had a laproscopy 2 years ago to laser out the endometriosis. It's minimally invasive, they cut me open with three small scars and got rid of all the endometriosis and an endometrioma cyst on my right ovary, but the recovery was a little rough.  So needless to say if I don't have to have another one immediately I'm glad for that).  So I've already had an hsg years ago, which is a test where they shoot dye through your tubes and uterus to make sure nothing is blocked, that came back clear years ago so he's not doing another one of those either.  So we get to start right into treatment, which I'm pretty happy about, no more tests as of now at least.
So today I start 5 days of a drug called Femara, it's actually a drug approved for breast cancer and not yet fda approved for fertility yet.  But he said the results are comparable to clomid and the side effects are way less, including less of a chance of multiples.  The nice thing is our insurance covered this drug, we only had to pay for the Ovidrel injection, which considering our insurance is covering all our doctor appointments also, I really can't complain.  So the doctor said on the ultrasound he did last week that my follicles looked small, this drug is supposed to develop these follicles to maturity and ready them for ovulation.  We are not going to go right into IUI (artificial insemination) yet as long as his counts all come back good, because we'd really like to keep this process as natural as we can all considered :)  So now I just take these drugs and we pray for good follicles.